Through all days
and nights you stare at me
Though no one but
only me stutter
Through all
nights and days you whisper through the freezing breeze
Though no one but
only me shall pay you attention
O, maybe I want
to know more about thy heart
Be graceful; be
generous, for me to venture into you
O, dear mosquito
net, please open up thy heart
One time is just
fine for right now
Yet you, you are
trampled by too much work
Maybe that’s why
you don’t bother for negligence
Happy will I be,
if you let yourself be free from your daily doings
And bestow some
attention to the person right next to you
For one, why do
you captivate the beautiful stars hanging in the dark, blue sky?
Ever do not
please, confine the beautiful stars into your tiny cross-sections of wires.
Ever do not
please, block the tiny sparking rays of glowing stars.
It were being god’s
property, for let us to enjoy the stars.
For one, why do
you leave the poor insects crying in gloomy midnights?
Have you ever thought,
they are shivering in cold?
Have you ever thought,
they want to sleep in a warm bed.
They were being
our friends, our families, for let them come inside my room.
Promise me, not to be egoistic.
Let us, too, enjoy the stars.
Let us, too, captivate the beauty deep
inside our heart.
Let us, too, have a clear view of the tiny
sparkling rays.
Promise me, not to be cold-blooded.
Let you, be open to all the shivering
insects crying out in the forest.
Let you, be generous enough to espouse the
crying insects.
Let you, be considerable to greet them as
our family.
O, maybe I, I too, was too selfish
Tell me, am I granting too many wishes?
If I am, may I accompany my apologies.
Will you, then, accept my sincerity
May I apologize, for one, shooting you with
toy bullets in last Christmas
It would hurt a lot, I know
May I apologize, for one, not showering
myself after soaking in sweat playing basketball.
It would smell terrible, I know
May I apologize, for one, trying to freeze
your body by watering you in winter merely because of my intellectual curiosity
It would be agonizing definitely, I know
Now look back at the person right beside
you.
Feel the love I have toward you, mosquito
net.
Shall we make our place a heaven
For you to accept my apologies and for you
to accept my requirements
Your love.
Hmmm. Not bad. Not Shakespeare either. As a subject of an ode, I am not clear on whether you are praising or chastising the net. To me it would make sense to praise it for protecting you, but I am not sure that sentiment is present here. Poetry is hard to write for anyone, and in this case I think the attempt at Shakespeare is preventing subtext from presenting itself appropriately. Prose, not poetry, is the surer path to a fully explored ode that conveys a clear emotion with clear apostrophe and personification. This, to me, is a bit confusing. But some of the writing is good, and it does sound "poetic."
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